I am so a total cliche

We acquired a treadmill today.

I say "we" because well, I found it online and I made the arrangements to pick it up.

I also say "we" because Lucio drove to Potomac, IL this morning (even more east central Illinois than we are) to procure said treadmill.

He also arranged for the use of John's pick up truck.

I adore John.
I love his wife Mary.
I love their daughter, Emilee. Jack love loves her. When he was a baby he called her "mymee"
I adore their sons.
They are our former neighbors.
They are the best kinds of neighbors.
They became friends.
We will be friends with them long after I stop judging from my current location in the cornfields.
They are another of the reasons I will always love Illinois.

And John is totally handy.

He has every tool imaginable.

Lucio calls his garage "John's Depot".

When Lucio wanted to finish putting in something call quarter round last summer, he asked me to call John to see about borrowing the tool he'd need to complete the task.

Lucio told me the name of the thing.

I forgot what he called it before I found my phone.

John kept the message for a while and played it for random friends whenever we were in a group and felt I needed a good shutting up already.

Here's the gist of the message...

"Hi, John, It's Heather. Lucio is finishing the quarter round today. I think that's what he called it. Anyway,,, He needs your...it's a hammer thing with a hose I think. But no plug. The "ptch ptch ptch" thing. Shut up. I know you know what I mean. Can you call us back? Thanks!"


So, in addition to a lovely wife and a macked out back porch with bed swing John made himself, he has a pick up that he lets Lucio use when needed.

Lucio came home with our new treadmill.

He and my brother got it in the door and he is currently lubing it up and making sure the bolts are doing whatever it is bolts needs to do.

All before my maiden walk tomorrow morning.

Because no one in their right mind would be outside today if they didn't have to be.

I have heard of bone chilling.

I have heard of the tundra.

I have wondered why people would purchase expensive jackets from Columbia for 5 year olds that are only going to outgrow them in a years time.

I have all my answers now.

Because 3 should not be a temperature in industrialized communities.

Because I was plenty cold before that twit with the angled haircut (Really? You thought you could pull off the same style as Posh Spice? Because why again? Oh, yeah, that's right, you can't) told me the wind chill.

Because my nose is bleeding from the lack of moisture in our home. We all look like our fave restaurant friends of years past who had an affinity for booger sugar.

Ever night I put a bowl of water on the floor vents and every single morning it's completely evaporated.

If you looked around our house, you would see a pattern emerging.

The treadmill. The Wii games. Frozen weight watcher meals. And treats.

A fridge full of leafy greens.

Yogurt. Oatmeal. Fruits and Veggies.

I have finished 8 glasses of water already today. Ever since Jack was born, I hate sneezing when I have to pee. Look around. You can tell who has kids.

A plan to blog daily so as not to accidentally cook the tater tots in the freezer that are for Jack and not for Jack's mother.


Yes, dear readers. It's 2010.

And I am planning to lose weight. In case it wasn't clear.

Cancel the intervention.

One of my greatest fears has always been finding myself as one of those headless, nameless fat people on the intro to some 20/20 segment about the rising percentage of obese in America.

There I will be, sitting on the couch, thinking, "Why is that fat woman wearing the same pants and shoes as me and holding hands with Jack?"

My fear is different lately.
I have been smacked with reality.

Young healthy people die.
People who have never smoked.
Never been overweight.

My paternal grandmother died before she was 50.
Paternal grandfather didn't make it to 60.
Maternal grandmother had many heart attacks.

Hell, my father was dead at 68 from essentially life style choices.
Marlboro's and Oreos are a choice.

So exactly how much luck should I be pushing as my 40th looms?

I am working hardest to not get in my own way.

As you can imagine, I have had this plan before.

In 2007, I had been a non-smoker for over a year, so I thought I could get movin.

In 2008, I thought the looming 20th High School Reunion would have served to motivate. Hell, if my recently deceased father didn't do the trick... though he did get me to quit smoking.

Last year, I found Julie at Junior League.
We've done a lot for each other. I have a bonafide sister sledge in Illinois now (taking tremendous pressure, I hope, off my lovely actual sister in law/sister sledge, Stephanie)

Julie and I have not, however, served to help either one of us in the "weighing less" department.

Here it is 2010, and I am scheduled to turn 40 in eight months.

This better be it.